wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
They took my balls.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
