Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
