You work out of a Hotel?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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