I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize