READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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