Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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