Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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