just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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