You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
