Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Who died my cat blue again?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
