Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize