I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
