tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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