The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
