It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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