oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
