Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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