Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize