singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
