help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dicks are not precious.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
