Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
