Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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