i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize