you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
These tits shall not be calmed
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
