sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Two words: nipple clamps
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