I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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