kristin has been a bad kristin
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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