I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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