I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
