..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So squirting runs in the family.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
