Whatcha textin bout Willis?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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