so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
