right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
