Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
