At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
