Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
