Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
