He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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