I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
