Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
