She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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