WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Are we in a gay sports bar?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
