yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize