you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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