So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
