yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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