I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
