Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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