TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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