perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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