she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
