He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
