I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
