No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
