its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
