Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize