Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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