Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
